Hating every second of this

So I haven't produced much of anything lately. I hate it. But I also (funny enough) can't stress over it either... otherwise I will 100% not be able to produce anything. I have really horrible stress induced vertigo.. but the kind that the doctors have less of a clue what to do with it than normal. Normally one just feels that the world is spinning. Lucky me! I feel that the world spins one way, I spin the opposite and I black in and out from time to time without passing out. Yay me! Oddly enough sitting is the worst too... Go figure. I've been trying different methods of trying to stop it since Friday night but nothing has really helped it. Breathing, yoga, meditation, antihistimines, decongestants, etc. Nothing really works for too long. It was all brought on by the worst week ever which explains why my stress levels are soooo high.
Basically I wont know until tomorrow morning for sure but, I probably have to take a year or two off of school. Which sure, not that big of a problem right? Only it messes up pretty much my whole entire future, is forcing me to rethink everything and my whole general life plan (which if you've ever heard it... isn't really a plan as much as an outline). My parents really could care less and were more meh than usual. I have friends turning to me about a million and one things that I can't do anything about which does nothing to help my mild savior complex. I have to get at least 1 if not 2 more jobs over the summer and that is just if I'm lucky and can stay on track. Otherwise I have to try and own my own Chipotle or some ridiculous thing like that. (Its not really ridiculous, but it's just a really new concept to me and something I never even dreamed I'd be contemplating let alone actually doing) I missed a bunch of deadlines last week for things I really couldn't afford to miss and there are a handful of other underlying things that don't need to be blogged about.

All in all, I hate every second of living since Friday night (minus a choice few minutes where I vented and was consoled by a good friend). It hasn't been until earlier tonight that I could be upright for more than a few hours without getting sick or wanting to die. I canceled a bunch of things that I really wanted/needed to do and I didn't go to class today. I'm so not the kind of person who just skips days for no reason. I seriously slept *all but 8 hours* in the past 2 days. This week shouldn't be too bad academically meaning I can (re)dedicate my life to dig eth (as long as I can stand). But I'll just have to see what tomorrow brings (aka- Lafene and Financial Aid meetings) and see how long I can function like a person tomorrow