My story

I've been meaning to post this for some time now, so here it is finally!

This was so much harder to make than I thought it would be. I mean, how hard does just talking to a camera sound? Not very considering I talk non-stop anyway (recall super power= energy!) But for some reason as I stared into that lens I realized that it was waiting eagerly for me to bear my soul. Now this probably sounds a little hokey, but that's how it felt. In that split second of the first take I realized that as these words are spoken they are going to transform in ways I can't predict. Now telling a story is one thing. You are the creator, you have the control over where the story goes and you can make changes each time you retell it if you'd like, the power is yours. But recording that story is completely different. The story now has it's own life. You also no longer have control of who can own your story now, you've passed on the power of creation to any one who is willing to listen to that story. They will now take it and run with it, you have no chance for clarification, or making sure they understood it in the way that you wish them to. It's... scary. I am a very open person, I share my life with people without hesitation (I'm sure to the annoyance of others at times). So it really struck me to realize that I was completely and utterly vulnerable at that instance and vulnerable in a way that I'm not used to. I make deep connections regularly, I keep very few things from people, I stand up in front of classes and share my soul with my students, I have no secrets- just things that I haven't found the right context to share them with you yet. But this camera took all of that to a whole new level. I wanted my story to be right. Not perfect, but right. I want it to be important to who ever will hear it, I want it to inspire those who were where I was, remind those who have transformed as I have, and invite new questions in all. This one story sums me up as a person really well (which let me tell you, if you haven't tried to describe yourself in a 5 minute story before... it's incredibly difficult to do!). I think that that's the biggest concern I had while talking to the camera- that I was putting myself out there in a way I don't normally. It's a one-sided conversation where you can't ask me to clarify, and I can't defend myself against the criticisms. I'm really proud of this video and I think it turned out really well... but it's weird to think about the fact that I will never know how a good 90% of the people who will see it will feel about it.